Too Many Feels at Work (and Why That’s Okay)
When was the last time work just felt like A LOT? Maybe it was the tough feedback, a heated meeting, or a stressful project with a difficult deadline you had to meet.
We’ve all been there, and usually, we manage to keep it together. But sometimes, the emotions we’ve tried to contain start to spill over.
And that’s okay. Because behind every professional is a person who is trying to do their best. Emotions, good or bad, don’t wait at the door the moment we walk into the office; they come with us.
The real work isn’t in suppressing them, but in learning how to stay steady when they rise, to let emotions guide us without letting them take over.
One study found that the most common emotions people experience at work are often the difficult ones: frustration, nervousness, anger, and even dislike. We’re often told that showing strong emotions seems unprofessional, that “real professionals” stay calm and collected no matter what. So we learn not to take things personally because, as they say, “it’s just work.”
But the truth is, after sleeping, we spend most of our time doing one thing (yes, you guessed it) - working. So it’s no surprise that work can often feel personal, and there’s no off switch for how we feel.
Jochen Menges, an expert in organisational behaviour, points out that emotions, even the negative or uncomfortable ones, are not a sign of weakness, but of engagement. When people care deeply about their work, they’re bound to feel something towards it. After all, emotions are what make work feel meaningful and help build authenticity and empathy.
Menges also notes that when managers or organisations discourage people from expressing how they feel, they risk creating a culture of indifference. Employees may stop caring as much. They’ll still do their tasks, but without energy, creativity, or a sense of connection.
When Leaders Listen First
No matter how well leaders manage their own emotions, they can’t control how others feel. What they can do is learn to acknowledge and respond to those emotions appropriately.
Building an emotionally intelligent workplace helps employees understand their own feelings and those of others. Simple practices such as team reflection sessions, leadership training in empathy and feedback, and even regular check-ins that promote psychological safety can make a huge difference.
Learning to Sit with Your Feelings
Expressing emotion isn’t the problem. The real challenge lies in how we deal with it. A useful framework to try is the Recognise, Understand, and Manage approach:
Recognise - Take a breath and be aware of what you’re feeling when emotions start to rise. Try to name it: frustration, disappointment, pressure, maybe even embarrassment, before reacting immediately.
Understand - Once you’ve named the emotion, take a moment to explore why it’s there. Think back to other times you’ve felt this way. How did you react then? What helped, and what didn’t?
Manage - After you’ve had time to recognise and understand, decide how you want to respond, or whether you need to respond at all. Ask yourself if it’s worth bringing up or better to let go. Make sure you’re seeing things clearly, not just reacting in the moment.
At the end of the day, emotions aren’t something to fix. They’re something to understand. When we learn to listen to them, we don’t just become better professionals; we become better humans at work.
Give love and choose love.
T.
